Never Too Late
by eternallyweird
Summary: AU "I just want to know.. who exactly are you?" After jumping off the cliff, Bella doesn't remember much. When Edward comes back into her life, will she remember her love for him? BxE
1. Lost

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: First _Twilight_ fic for me. Hope you like it!

**Lost**

"_There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."_

- Gretchen Kemp

"_It will be as if I never existed."_

The salt water engulfed me as the surface began to drift farther and farther away.

_I'm sorry, Edward. I can't live like this anymore. I love you._

My head hit something hard, blurring my vision and slowly taking over my mind. Water strangled me, entangling into my body. I didn't want to fight it anymore, not because I was unable to but because it wasn't worth it anymore. I couldn't take the pain any longer so I let go.

_Goodbye Edward, my love._

* * *

My eyes fluttered open to see a very worried looking person. Why was he worried? What was going on around me?

"Bells! You're okay. You couldn't have waited for me to go cliff-diving? You could have killed yourself!" I blinked. Bells.. was that me? Who was he? I was confused. He frowned. "Bella, can you hear me?"

I opened my lips to speak but I didn't know what to say to stop him from worrying. "I can hear you.." I hesitated, then added, "But I just want to know.. who exactly are you?"

His eyes widened. "I'm Jacob. Jacob Black. You.. you don't remember?" Giving him a sympathetic look, I shook my head. The name Jacob Black didn't really ring much of a bell in my head. Neither did Bella but it did sound very familiar so I just assumed that I was Bella. "What did you _do_ to yourself Bella?" He ran his hand through his dark hair.

"Please don't worry. I'm sure whatever happens, it'll all work out for the best."

"You can't be seri- Bella!"

Out of nowhere, I felt the huge tear in my chest. The pain overwhelmed my weak body and I wrapped my arms around my chest to keep the tear from becoming bigger. I felt Jacob's arms around me, scooping me into his arms. His warmth caused me to become drowsy. I tried to say something to him; stop him from worrying about me but he interrupted my thoughts, saying, "Shhh. Sleep honey. I'll take care of you." I smiled, close to unconsciousness. I'm not sure if he meant for me to hear what he said but what he said made me feel much better about the whole situation. Softly, he murmured, "I love you Bells." And then I was out.

* * *

"_You can't possibly love me as much as I love you. That idea is out of the question." I pouted as he chuckled. "And what, pray tell, is so darn funny?"_

_His musical laughter a lighter tone, he used his cold, pale finger and softly tapped my nose. "You are, love. Because you're trying hard to fight a battle you can't win." _

"_You didn't just go there. Just 'cause I'm the human."_

"_That's not it at all." He took my face in his hands. "Bella. I've waited my whole life for you. I can't possibly live without you now that you exist in my life. You are my love, my only love. Even grasping the right words to proclaim my love for you would be difficult." All the while, he was caressing my cheek with his smooth, marble fingers. I could hardly believe how good it felt on my skin. "However, I can never understand how a monster like me could have been blessed with someone as special as you. You're still not afraid of me?"_

_I was choking on my words. His face was the face of an angel; how could anyone so perfect love me? My voice reduced to a mere whisper, I replied, "Never. You are not a monster. My love for you is endless and I would do anything, absolutely anything, to keep you by my side, no matter what the cost."_

_Suddenly, his lips were against my lips, delicately moving with mine. Nothing existed but him as he took my breath away. I desperately tried to control my breathing but my concentration was waning. Getting overexcited and too into the kiss, my tongue traced his lower lip, causing him to swiftly pull away. It was much too quick for my own desire. _

"_Bella." He said in a low, lightly reprimanding voice. "Your belief in my restraint is preposterous. I'm not as strong as you think."_

_I sighed. "Yeah, well, it's not my fault you have irresistible lips." _

_He chuckled. _

_Loving, playful topaz eyes shined back at me._

* * *

I shuddered to consciousness. The dream felt so real; I had never felt so whole, so alive. My chest ached as I remembered those golden orbs that stared back at me. Filled with love for me. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts.

Back to reality, I realized I was at someone's house. Frantic to find something familiar, my eyes wandered around the room until I found what, or rather who, I was looking for. I smiled before calling out to him. "Jacob?" My voice was hoarse from all the salt water that I probably swallowed. He rushed over to me, joy evident in his eyes.

"You're finally awake." He grinned.

"Am I at your house?"

"Yeah, you are. Tell me, do you remember anything?"

I pursed my lips. Exactly what did I remember? I remembered that I used to live in Phoenix; I remembered that I was in Forks; I remembered jumping into the ocean. _I remembered those golden _eyes but that wasn't something I wanted Jacob to know. Mostly, just the small details were blurry. It was sad to know that I didn't even remember my own name until Jacob told me. Jacob. I didn't remember him either, yet he loved me. I told him the majority of what I remembered, hoping it would help.

"I should take you back home so you can see Charlie. He's going to be worried sick when he finds out what happened.."

"Oh, no! Please don't make someone else worried about me." I pleaded. "I can't bear to see someone else worrying over my problems." The pang in my chest came back. I wrapped my arms around my chest once again.

He shook slightly with anger and growled, "Damn him and all the trouble he's caused." After a short while, he seemed to calm down. His face softened and he spoke softly. "Bella, I promise that everything's going to work out okay? Of course people are going to worry, at first, but it'll all be okay."

I barely heard his promise; my mind was trying to wrap around his previous words. _Damn him and all the trouble he's caused._ Now who was _he_ and what trouble did he cause? Would I ever meet him? I had to know. "Who were you talking about earlier?" A confused expression stared back at me. "I mean, when you said 'Damn him and all the trouble he's caused.' Who is he?" Recognition flashed in his eyes, then conflict. I wasn't sure why, but curiosity got the best of me.

_And curiosity killed the cat._


	2. Alteration

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer:** Again, I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter might not be particularly interesting. But I promise it'll get better!

**Alteration**

"_A half truth is a whole lie."_

- Yiddish Proverb

Should I tell her about the bloodsucker? The one who had caused this atrocity for her? I decided against it. It might have been wrong, selfish, and maybe even immoral, but I wanted to reshape her life; reshape it into something that she could rely on. I would make her happier than the bloodsucker ever could. I might not be normal, but I was at least still human.

So when she asked who he was, I replied, "It's no one you should worry about, Bells." A crease appeared on her forehead, signaling that she didn't believe me. So I continued, "It's better that you don't know, anyway. He caused a lot of grief and he's never coming back to hurt anyone." Her facial expression softened, but she was still unsure. I would have to try harder to make her believe me but first, I had to get her home to Charlie.

Charlie took it better than we both thought he would. He told her that everything would be explained tomorrow and that she need not worry about anything but her own health.

Upstairs in Bella's room, she seemed restless.

"I'm really not tired anymore, Jacob. I want to know what's going on! I want to- oh dammit!" Her ranting caused her to lose concentration on where she was walking so she tripped over a sock on the floor and fell backwards onto her bed. I'm not even sure how that happened but being as clumsy as she was, any klutzy situation was possible. I tried to control it but I couldn't help it. I busted out laughing because of how clumsy she was; how clumsy my Bella was. I had to admit, that sounded really good; like music to my werewolf ears.

She pouted. "It's not funny! I don't remember being this clumsy."

My laughter subdued before I could say to her, "That's 'cause you don't remember much but I promise tomorrow, after you've gotten your rest, I'll tell you everything."

"But I'm not tired." She complained. She looked like a little kid but still, she was adorable. Tomorrow, she would be mine at last. _Cullen_ would cease to exist in her memory and I would be the one to keep her safe in my arms. At that thought, I smiled involuntarily. "Why are you smiling?" She asked in a softer tone.

"Because I'm here with you, Bells." It was the truth. She grinned too. "Now please, get some rest."

She sighed. "Fine."

After she got herself in a comfortable position, I kissed her gently on the forehead. "'Night, Bella."

Panic flashed in her eyes. "You're not leaving are you?" She looked so vulnerable and afraid of the unfamiliar.

"Just temporarily. But I won't be far."

"Don't leave." Her eyes pleaded me to stay. Relief washed over her when I came over to her. She scooted over to give me room. Holding her in my arms felt so right.

* * *

"Jacob, can I talk to you?" Charlie whispered to me when he entered Bella's room quietly. Bella had already fallen asleep and was breathing deeply against my chest. I nodded and extricated myself gently from her body.

We went downstairs so that she wouldn't wake. "What did you want to talk about?"

"About.. what you're going to tell her." He waited before saying, "I want what's best for her and I don't want her to remember _him_." He growled. "I don't want her to remember the man who reduced her to a shell of a person."

"My thoughts exactly." I stated. "I was thinking about telling her that I was her.. boyfriend. I mean I would tell her about everything else, but I would alter some of it so that he would never exist in her memory."

Charlie's eyes brightened at that idea. "I think that's brilliant. You could give her the life _he_ never could." I nodded curtly. She deserved the best love someone could possibly give her. "Well, you better get back to her before she realizes you left."

"No fatherly talk?"

He chuckled. "You're a good kid. I don't think it's necessary."

I grinned before going back to her. She was curled up in a ball, mumbling something to herself. I wondered what she could have been dreaming about.

"Ridiculous.. male model.. unusual." She flipped her body to the other side. I frowned. It sounded like she was talking about the bloodsucker. So maybe he still did exist in her subconscious.

_Not after tomorrow. Tomorrow, it would be like he never existed at all_.


	3. Pretend

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it.

**Pretend**

"_It is foolish to __pretend__ that one is fully recovered from a disappointed passion. Such wounds always leave a scar."_

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

_He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You're so beautiful, Bella."_

_Blushing slightly, I retorted, "That's ridiculous. I'm not beautiful in comparison to you." I added in a whisper, "Or anyone else for that matter."_

_He exhaled sharply. "You don't see yourself clearly at all."_

_"Oh darn. Is it check-up time already?" _

_He laughed quietly, sending vibrations throughout the bed. "For you, yes. My eye sight is perfectly fine."_

_"I don't think so. __You're__ the one who can't see the discrepancy between us. __You__ look like a male model. __I__ look like some unusual thing you found in the heap and just happened to pity enough to give your attention to." _

_He raised one eyebrow. "Now __that__ is ridiculous. How could you possibly think so low of yourself?" He shook his head, but unexpectedly smiled a sly smile. "Actually, I do think you're unusual."_

_"I'm..glad you see it my way." I glanced suspiciously at him. _

_He only smiled my favorite crooked smile in return and I turned into Jello. "And now, it's time for you to rest. Tomorrow's another day." He kissed me lightly on the nose before we adjusted to a sleeping position. His cold arms wrapped around me as I cuddled with his marble body. The marvelous smell of his skin lulled me to sleep. _

_Fading in and out of consciousness, I heard one last murmur of his melodious voice before finally drifting off._

_"Unusually beautiful."_

* * *

Squeezing my eyes shut, I didn't want to wake up from my dream. I loved the way I felt so special to this.. unfamiliar person. At first, I thought it was Jacob but Jacob's touch wasn't cold; rather, the feeling of his russet skin was burning hot. And Jacob didn't have mesmerizing, golden eyes. Not that Jacob's eyes weren't mesmerizing either. But it was different with Jacob. I didn't know what to think, since I really didn't remember much. My mind settled with imagining Mr. Golden Eyes as my dream boy; the boy I would never meet.

Finally, I opened my eyes. Jacob was gently stroking my head. Nuzzling my head against his chest, I looked up into his loving, dark eyes. He grinned a wide grin. "Good morning, beautiful."

I felt the color rushing to my cheeks. "Good morning."

"Ready to find out everything today?"

"Of course. I'd love to be in the know about my own life." I scrunched my nose. "I'd also love to take a shower. How can you stand sleeping next to me? I stink."

He laughed. "'Cause I didn't want you to wake up and not find me here."

Jacob was such a sweet guy. He felt like my best friend. Maybe even more. I would find out today I suppose. But first, I was in _desperate_ need of a shower.

After clearing my thoughts (and my filthy hair) with the smell of my strawberry shampoo, I was ready to find out everything that I didn't know. Downstairs, Jacob and Charlie were eating, waiting for me. They smiled at me as I entered the room. Loving people really.

* * *

My name: Isabella Marie Swan. 18 years old. Senior at Forks High School. Mother: Renee. Father: Charlie. Status: Taken. By Jacob.

All basic information. For some bizarre reason though, the ache in my chest twitched when they told me that Jacob was my boyfriend. My brain thought it was reasonable; my heart thought it was nonsense. Everything seemed to be accepted except for that one simple fact. The one fact that I wanted to believe the most. He was there for me when I was lost. I wanted to yell, scream even, at my heart for not being in the right place. For not being where I wanted it to be. For now, I would just have to go along with what they were saying; live this unfamiliar life until something clicked to reveal my inner memories.

"Are you alright?" Jacob's voice breaking my train of thought.

I nodded gently. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be when I with you?" His grin made me happy. I was glad that I could make someone smile, especially someone as important as him. _Shut up, heart_. I scolded the ache when it shuddered slightly. I held myself to keep the pain from spreading. I couldn't help but feel like I needed to go to an asylum. Internal holes; self-conversations; rebellious heart. Was I a nut case or what?

"You're sure you're alright, though? If you're not, you need to tell me. I want to help you."

Lifting up my face to meet his gaze, his devoted eyes never left mine. Slowly, his face inched closer and closer to mine. My breath quickened, realizing what he was about to do. Swiftly, his lips captured mine. He was gentle, afraid he might break me. I kissed back, pretending to feel the spark that never popped when his lips made contact with mine. Even though I didn't want to pretend, I had to in order for my life to make sense. Still, it upset me.

It upset me how I couldn't just know what was going on, I had to be baby-fed my life. It frustrated me that I could never love Jacob as much as he loved me, no matter _how much_ I desperately wanted to return his affection. However, of all the things that angered me, one thing stood out the most. The reality that nothing seemed to compare to my imagination!

_Nothing compared to the electrifying sensation of my dream boy's lips on mine._


	4. Return

**Disclaimer:**I don't own _Twilight_.

**Return**

_"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."_

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Edward, you can't just lay there forever." I droned her out as I usually did. Unsure of how much time had actually passed, I let myself wallow in my own misery. As always, thoughts of regret ran through my mind. Why did I leave behind the one person that I couldn't live without? She was the equivalent of my soul mate but because I was eternally damned, she was my soul. If there were anything more precious in this world, she would be it. "Are you listening to me?" She sighed, frustrated with my stubbornness. I loved _her_ stubbornness. It caused her to make some unsafe decisions but it was a part of her and I loved everything about her.

Looking over at Alice, I could see that she was having a vision. She blinked back with a terrified look on her face. "She jumped off the cliff.. and her future disappeared." Panic reflected from her eyes to mine. How could she do that? Why? She promised she wouldn't! _Darn it Bella! You couldn't just go back to a regular life after the vampires left _rang in Alice's head. It was time to go back. I had to see what was going on. Just a quick check, then I'd have to leave again.

_Why, Bella, why?_

* * *

The familiarity of Forks was slightly comforting but my mind wouldn't rest until I saw her face again. Fear washed over my body at the thought that she hurt herself even though she promised she wouldn't. Then again, I had broken promises too. I broke the promise that I would protect her forever; do anything in my power to keep her safe.

Reaching her house, I could hear her heartbeat. The wondrous sound rang in my ears as I slowed and stopped to appreciate the melody her heart sang to me. She smelled so good but besides her smell permeated the smell of another odor. An odor that made my nose scrunch up in disgust. My face paled even whiter than it already was. If I correctly identified the putrid smell, it would be the smell of a werewolf. And the werewolf had been near her! Of all the times to be a danger magnet, a WEREWOLF? Only she would attract the next dangerous thing in town. First, vampires. Now, werewolves. Couldn't she be less irresistible? I shook my head, already knowing the answer to that question.

Her window was open.. like it always had been. Was she still hoping I would come back? My mind raced as I jumped to the window with ease. Her scent was stronger, more concentrated. I glanced around the room. My eyes stopped at her figure. The edges of my mouth twitched into a smile, seeing her resting peacefully. Wherever the mongrel was, it wasn't here anymore. With every breath, her chest rose up and down; her blood streamed peacefully in her body; her heart pulsed, sending harmonic vibrations to my ears. Her lips barely parted, probably from her mumbling. I wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her, be with her.

I couldn't bring myself to leave. Needing to be in her presence, I sat in the rocking chair across from her bed. It seemed like a while I had been sitting there but it was worth seeing her. The warmth of her skin radiated and it was like I could feel her without actually touching her. Her eyes fluttered open, chocolate brown glittering in the room. She sighed.

"Just a dream." She murmured. Her eyes scanned the room and stopped when she saw me; then they widened. "Oh crap. What are yo-.. why.. who ar.. _how'd you get out of my dream_?!" She stuttered in a harsh whisper.

"I'm not a dream."

"I've seriously gone bananas." She muttered to herself. "Someone please take me to the crazy house."

"You're not dreaming. I'm really here. Though, I guess it's not hard to mistake me for a nightmare."

"Nightmare? I was having a good dream. Maybe the dream's just continuing.."

"Bella, this is not a dream."

"UGH! I hate not knowing anything anymore." I was confused. What did she mean by that?

"I don't understand."

"Hmm?"

"I don't understand what you mean by not knowing anything anymore?"

"Since I'm hallucinating, I might as well enjoy it right?" She rationalized before continuing. "Jumping off cliffs does wonders you know. When Jacob saved me, I couldn't remember anything. Not even my name." Her eyes were downcast. "I wish I hadn't jumped now. I can't even remember why I jumped. All I know is what Charlie and Jacob told me. I don't even think they told me everything but I have no choice. Trusting them is the only thing I can do." She wrapped her arms around her chest as if she were holding herself together. No longer could I stand the "no touching" rule I had set up for myself. I sat with her and held her close, basking in her scent and the closeness of her warm body. She shivered slightly. I unwrapped my arms around her to place the blanket on her as a shield against my cold body.

"Thanks." She whispered softly. Silence passed between us. I didn't mind. Finally, I was near her. After a long period of desolation and misery, she was in my arms, where I wanted her to be. Where I silently hoped she wanted to be too. She nuzzled her nose into my chest. "You smell amazing."

I chuckled. "I could say the same thing about you."

_Hmm.. I thought I heard something. Did Jacob come over without me knowing? I should check on her, just in case._ Charlie was coming. I had to leave, pretty sure Charlie would have a problem with me being in her room after leaving for so long.

"I'm sorry I have to go now." I kissed her softly on the top of her head and reluctantly unwrapped my arms from her.

"Do you really have to?" Her eyes pleaded me to stay. How badly I _wanted_ to stay. But I couldn't. I was obliged to stay as far from her as possible so she could live a normal human life. _Not until I get rid of that werewolf._ My mind reasoned.

"But I'll be back. Soon." She smiled a small smile.

"Promise?" This promise, I wouldn't break. Charlie knocked on the door.

"Promise." I whispered and quickly hopped out.

* * *

Outside without her warmth, I felt alone again. But the joy of seeing her beautiful face lingered. Though I was still ecstatic from being in close proximity with her, I had to think about what she had told me. About not knowing anything anymore. Did the jump do more than just worry me to no end? If she didn't remember anything, did she not remember me? She seemed to be comfortable around me but she thought I was a dream. Was she really so shocked to see me that she thought I was a dream? Or did I really not exist in her reality. Did someone take my place as I had intended? The thought of some other man's arms around my Bella felt cruel; it was my punishment for leaving. Charlie's words rang in my head. _Did Jacob come over without me knowing?_ Jacob? That boy that took her away from me during prom? My hands clenched into fists. The urge to stay and beg her to take me back surged through me.

I resolved that I would meet with her once more. Talk to her about everything and see if she was happy. Find out who Jacob really was to her. Find out if she remembered me at all. But mostly

_I wanted to know if she still loved me_.


	5. Awakening

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

A/N: I present to you Chapter 5!

**Awakening**

"_Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious."_

- Carl Gustav Jung

Yesterday's dream was amazing. As far as hallucinations went, I believe that was the best I had ever lived to experience. It was as if I had met him, my dream boy. The electricity that shot through my body as he touched me was addicting. I felt like I needed more. I craved for more. It had all seemed so real. Even his intoxicating smell was better than ever. I had probably deluded myself so far into believing he existed that, for a split moment in time, he did. _What about Jacob?_ my mind nagged. My mind and my heart fought constantly, as if they were beings of their own. In my heart, I loved Jacob in a way less than being _in love_ with him and the aching feeling conflicted with the way I should feel with Jacob. When I came in contact with my dream boy, the ache was gone; I felt whole and alive. _I seriously have one strong imagination._ How was it possible for me to dream up a boy so real that everything he did affected me in a positive way?

"Bella.." Charlie called, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes, Dad?"

"Are you alright? I thought I heard a noise."

"I'm quite fine." Actually, I was more than fine. My heart was beating erratically from all of my enthusiasm, but it was for the best that Charlie didn't know that.

"Oh. I.. uh.. guess I was just hallucinating." So was I. "Jacob will be over in just a few to take you out."

My heart drooped slightly. "'Kay. Thanks for telling me." I smiled as convincingly as possible. Once he was out of my room, I sighed and decided to ready myself for whatever Jacob had in store for me. _Why can't I feel happy with him? _I dressed simply, wearing a dark blue tee and jeans. In a matter of minutes, Jacob was there.

"Hey Bells."

"Hi Jake." I smiled. My smile wavered however when his eyes narrowed. "Is something the matter?"

"Was someone in your room?" I furrowed my eyebrows. Why would someone be in my room? Other than my hallucination, of course. But he wasn't exactly real. Was he? "Your room. It smells sickeningly sweet." I sniffed, not smelling any sweet odor. He picked up my nightwear shirt and grimaced. I took it from him and to my delight, _his_ smell lingered on it. Not wanting to look like some drug addict, I placed it back on the rocking chair which also had a vestige of _his_ scent. "Bells." I focused my concentration back on Jacob. He repeated his question. "Was someone in your room?"

The revelation hit me full force. _He was real._ No matter how crazy I thought I was, he actually existed in the same world, same dimension, same universe as me. He wasn't just a figment of my imagination. Internally, I felt embarrassed for yesterday's actions now knowing that he wasn't imaginary and that I had accused him of escaping out of my dream. "So he was real." I voiced aloud.

"A bl- person came in right?" Anger was rolling off him like waves. It was quite intimidating.

"I w-would believe so."

He sighed angrily before calming down and turning to face me. "Sorry about that. I just don't want him around you."

"Oh." Was the only rational response I could think of. "Why?"

"He.. hurt you. Before the jump. Listen, we should go for a walk and I'll tell you about it okay?" He asked, gently. I only nodded, afraid that he was still mad. "I promise I won't hurt you Bells. You've been hurt enough." He pulled me into a warm (more like fiery) embrace. I hugged him back, my arms barely reaching around his muscular torso, feeling slightly better in his arms. "Are you ready to go?" He whispered, his hot breath against my ear.

"Y-yes." I stuttered, blushing slightly. My heart protested but I was still a teenage girl being hugged by a muscular, good-looking guy. Darn those raging hormones.

* * *

At the beach in La Push, Jacob began explaining to me everything. How this guy who I thought was a wonderful person really left me to fend for myself. How he said he cared for me but never really did. Then it got all bizarre. He started talking about territories and mumbling about "bloodsuckers". He lost me by then but I couldn't believe this dream boy could have caused me so much pain. I didn't even remember him. And if he _did_ cause me this pain, why was it when he was there, my pain seemed to go away? I didn't quite understand anything at this point so I had to stop Jacob's angered ranting.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Jacob. Please calm down." He stopped, seething. "I'm.. confused."

"What confused you?" His eyes questioned me with a darkness that could only be the result of his fury. It scared me a little.

"Everything. But especially the part about bloodsuckers. What is that? Leeches are bloodsuckers right? Like the little nasty parasites that live in damp areas."

His laugh echoed every where at my statement. Frustrated at him and everything that I didn't know, I wanted to give him a good kick. Actually, I did. And I immediately regretted it. His muscles were so toned, even on his calves, that my foot lost feeling and I was hopping up and down. He stopped laughing to assess the damage. "Geez, Bell. You didn't need to kick me. You could have just asked me to stop."

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Let me look at your foot."

"No!" I almost shouted. I softened my tone when I saw his face tense. "I just.. could you tell me what you meant about that then? I apparently don't know."

"Well, you got some of it right but what I meant by bloodsucker was the person who was in your room last night." He hesitated before continuing his statement. "He's a vampire. And.. I'm a werewolf."

I looked at him incredulously. "Oh. I see."

The last thing I heard before fainting was Jacob calling my name.

* * *

Up and fueled by curiosity, I paced around, occasionally stumbling over small pebbles and sticks. "So let me get this straight. The person who was in my room was a vampire and you're a werewolf."

"Yes." He gruffly agreed for probably the tenth time.

"Okay. I think I'm starting to calm down." Finally stable and able to grasp the concept, I sat down on the log next to him. "Sorry about that. I tend to overreact."

"'S okay. I'm quite used to it by now." He grinned.

"I'm glad you're able to deal with my craziness. You must really care."

"Of course I do. I love you."

My heart lurched. I wasn't sure I could say it back with the same amount of affection. I tried anyway. "I love you too."

He believed it, his grin widening even more. "Is your foot okay?"

"As okay as it would be after kicking a werewolf."

"You're not scared?"

"Why would I be? You're not going to hurt me right?"

"Right."

"There's nothing to be afraid of then." I smiled. The sun began to set, letting the darkness engulf it and all its glory. "We should really be getting back. Charlie's probably wondering where his dinner is." I teased, knowing well that Charlie could fend for himself.

He laughed. "Yeah, let's get you back home."

The drive home was silent. It gave me a chance to think about the curve ball that was thrown at me today. Unsure of the reason why, I felt oddly comfortable with all this information. Except for the fact that I had a vampire feening for my blood. Did more of them exist? Were there more creatures out there that I didn't know about?

From today's adventures, I learned new things; things I might not have wanted to recognize but they were there. They always would be there. Things that were of a darker nature than what the world was accustomed to. Things that were supposed to be frightening to the normal human psyche. In the end, this experience only confirmed one known fact about me.

_I was not normal_.


	6. Hope

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: Finally! Now that school has started again, I can't write everyday anymore. -Sigh- Without further ado, I present Chapter 6.

**Hope**

_"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."_

- Unknown

Today, I would see her again and I vowed to make her smile, no matter what the outcome of my little "investigation" turned out to be. Mostly, I wanted her to be happy; her smile was everything. It was like the sun, brightening up my dark sky. Six months I had gone without it. Any time away from her was too long. Time moved slowly but finally, it was night. It was risky, going to see her. _That werewolf better not be there_. Upon reaching her house and hearing her glorious heartbeat, elation built up in my body. As usual, her window was open. Her scent was still mixed with the putrid werewolf odor; one way or another, I would have to keep her protected from that dog.

In her room, I looked for her sleeping figure to see that she wasn't in bed yet. _I suppose I didn't wait long enough.._ The door jarred open; her beauty radiated in the darkness.

"Oh!" She exclaimed in a whisper, surprised to see me. It hadn't occurred to me that she might not have wanted to see me right then and there until now. Confusion played in her eyes, as if she were having an internal struggle. "I suppose I did tell you to come back.." She smiled sadly. "I'm sorry but my boyfriend doesn't want you around."

Sadness coursed through my body. She really did move on. She found someone who made her happy, just as I had intended. Only I didn't intend it would be_ this _painful; painful to pretend to be happy for her when depression was the only emotion I could feel. Inside, I felt remorse for not coming back sooner to see her. I wanted to still have a chance with her. _But_ _I was too late_.

"I don't understand why you're here." She said a little harsher. "You were the one who hurt me right? The vampire who's after my blood?"

Of course the predator in me would always be after her blood. But I myself was now strong enough to withstand that part of my nature. Still, I had to give her an answer. "I.. suppose I am." I could feel the regret of my departure raking through my cold, inhumane body. She was right to hate me though. I left her; I crushed her. And someone was there to pick up the pieces. The pieces of her that I left behind. I had to know, though, if she remembered me at all. "Do you remember who I am at all?"

Her face softened. Slowly, she shook her head. "I told you. I only remember what others tell me. I don't even know your name. Jacob wouldn't tell me much. He said you caused me the excruciating pain I feel and that you were after my blood." She held herself. "It hurts, you know. I don't know exactly what you did to me other than leave me." I grimaced, knowing that I had done this to her. "I don't understand why I'm not afraid of you. I should be, but I'm not." She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself. Her shining eyes bore into mine. "I'm like a danger magnet. I attract all sorts of dark creatures. But I was lucky to attract Jacob."

"Why?" My voice felt hollow.

"Because he can protect me from you." She looked away. "He is, after all, a werewolf." Her _boyfriend_ was the werewolf. Now I couldn't even have the satisfaction of killing the werewolf; it would hurt her if I did. "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded numbly. There was nothing I could do now but just follow what she wanted.

"Who _are _you? The other times I've seen you, I never found out your name."

"Edward Cullen." Other times? She'd only seen me once. And she thought I was a dream.

_Unless she had more than one dream about me_.

"Edward Cullen." She repeated softly then sighed. "It would be best if you leave now." She smiled apologetically, adding, "As much as you've supposedly hurt me, I can't help but feel like I have some sort of connection with you."

"I'm.. honored." Finally, her smile reached her eyes. She gave me a genuine smile; that beautiful smile I had wanted to see. It was a shame I couldn't smile back with the same amount of conviction.

"Don't be sad, Edward." She was as observant as she always was. "It's not like it's anything new, right? You've left me before. I'm sure you could do it again."

"I'm not so sure I can." I murmured, more to myself than to her. I didn't notice that she had walked over to me until I felt her warm hand on my face. Electricity coursed through my body; her touch made me feel more alive than I had ever felt without her. I gazed into her deep, bright brown eyes. Unexpectedly, she hugged me, her head resting on my chest. Slowly but willingly, I allowed myself to wrap my arms around her warm body.

"This is so much harder than I thought it would be." She murmured into my chest. She paused for a moment before saying, "I've told you that you smell marvelous right?"

I chuckled. "Yes. But it's always nice to hear it again." I didn't want to risk telling her that she smelled even more amazing, in fear that I would scare her away.

"You make it so hard to believe that you ever inflicted any kind of pain."

"I have, but I regret it deeply."

She let go of my body, signaling the end of the warm embrace. Warm on her part that is. She walked towards her bed. I thought that meant it was time for me to leave, as much as I wished I wouldn't have to. When she reached her bed, she sat down and patted the spot next to her. I smiled, glad she still wished to have my company. Sitting next to her, I looked down to see her foot wrapped up.

"What happened to your foot?"

"Oh, um, in a moment of stupidity, I kicked Jacob."

"You kicked a werewolf?" I asked, smugly. Oh how brave she was. She became slightly flustered but nodded. Concern for the injury took over the split-second pride and I asked, "Is your foot alright?"

"It's fine. No big deal." She smiled. "Kissing it might make it better." She teased, thinking I would never do such a thing.

"I'd be willing to kiss you anywhere."

"Oh uh.. umm.. I .. uh.. we've only known each other for a couple hours.. and it'd be really awkward and .. not like I wouldn't like it but .. well, actually I wouldn't know.." She kept stuttering on in mumbles. The blush on her cheeks really was lovely.

"I mean, you know. If it were in pain. Bella, you know what I mean."

"Do I?"

"Yes, you do."

She sighed playfully. "Besides, I _do_ have a boyfriend."

"I know." Internally, I was wincing but I didn't want her to know I was in pain.

"So Edward. Has any special girl caught your eye?"

"One. Always and only one."

"Really." She looked away, not pressing me to tell her who it was. Did she already know it was her?

"Don't you wanna know who it is?" I said in a slightly teasing tone.

"Not really." She mumbled. I didn't push any further. Times like these, it would be nice to be able to hear her thoughts but sadly, that was not a possibility.

Time passed in silence as we both pondered our own thoughts. I just wanted to hear her voice, since I might not see her again, but if she wanted to sit in quiet, I would abide by her wishes. She exhaled loudly.

"Do you want me to leave now?"

Again, she repeated her previous words, but this time with a smile. "Not really." Delighted that she wanted me to stay, I continued on.

"Then what should I do?"

"Well, I'm getting kind of tired but I don't want you to go yet." Yet. "I feel selfish."

I smiled. "That's quite alright. I crave your company as well." She stared at me. I lied, adding, "In a friendly manner of course." She smiled once again. That was twice this night. "You should rest."

"I don't want you to be bored though."

"Don't worry. I won't get bored. I've lived for over a hundred years. One night is nothing in comparison." One night with her was nothing in comparison to my life before her. It was much better.

"I don't know.." I reached for her hand, delicately holding hers in mine.

"I promise you I'll be fine. You need your rest."

She sighed. "Fine. You'll be here right?"

"Only if you want me too."

"Wonderful. So you'll stay."

"Of course."

She laid down and readied herself for slumber. I got up to sit on the rocking chair across the bed but she grabbed my wrist lightly. "Where do you think _you're_ going, Edward?"

"To sit on the rocking chair."

"But the bed is much more comfortable. I don't have cooties or anything. Promise." She said teasingly.

I laughed softly at her silliness. "I know."

"So stay." She ordered lightheartedly.

"Your wish is my command." I said, playing along with her. I laid down next to her; the closeness of her scent drove my senses wild and my throat to feel slightly parched but I felt overjoyed.

She pressed her heated body closer to mine and snuggled against me. "Good night, Edward." She whispered and drifted off to deep slumber.

"Good night, Bella, my love."

* * *

Her heart beat slowly but steadily and the song of her heart called to me, like it always did; like it always would. I was drowning in her glorious scent. It crept into my system and was a sheer ecstasy to be in close proximity to. It was almost overwhelming, especially after going six months without it, but I was already desensitized enough to enjoy her presence. The silence gave me time to ponder over everything that had been said and done. She knew how much pain I caused her; she had a boyfriend (who was a werewolf); she had every right to hate me, loathe me, ignore me. But she didn't. She wanted me around. Could it possible be because she still, deep down, loved me? I didn't want to be selfish and ask her though. It would only cause her more misery and pain that she didn't deserve. She deserved to live a blissful life with someone who made her happy.

But still, I hoped. Hoped that she still loved me after all the terrible things that happened; hoped that she would one day come back to me and stay with me forever; hoped that she still thought of me, just like I would always be thinking of her. But as of right now, I just hoped that she would still want me around after tonight. In all selflessness and the sake of her happiness,

_That is all I could ever ask for_.

--

_I only think of you always and forever. And forever._

Tell Me What To Do - Metro Station


	7. Guilt

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: For the readers of this story, I am really truly sorry that I haven't updated in 2 weeks! Slight writer's block issue. Every writer's worst enemy. -Sigh- But it's over now. Thanks to those who reviewed. They really do make me feel happy. For Mrs Ulliel-Whitlock, I am continuing the story. :) As you might have noticed by now. And so, after a long 2 week wait, here's Chapter 7.

**Guilt**

"_Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway."_

- Isabelle Holland

Slowly, I opened my eyes to a bright day. It wasn't exactly sunny outside, but there were fewer clouds than usual. Groggy from sleeping, I tried to bring my hands up to rub my eyes only to find that my arms were wrapped around a cold marble body. My eyes shot up to see cheerful, golden orbs staring back at me. I blinked a couple times to make sure it was real. And it was.

"Good morning." I mumbled, my voice hoarse from a night's rest.

"It is a good morning." Playfulness danced in his eyes and his voice. "How was your sleep?"

"Marvelous." I breathed, stretching out my rested muscles, for lack of a better word.

He chuckled. "Your hair's all over the place." A tinge of pink crept to my cheeks and I started trying to run my fingers through my hair and patting it down to make it less Frankenstein's bride status. He stopped me though, saying, "It looks fine. I promise." I stopped trying to make my hair look remotely decent. I hoped I didn't smell like sleep. At that point, being human was not so wonderful.

"I'll be right back." I muttered, afraid that if I opened my mouth any wider, it would reek of morning breath.

"Of course." He just smiled understandingly. He kept making it more and more difficult to believe that he hurt me at all.

In the safety of my bathroom, I brushed my teeth, got the tangles out of my hair, and looked in the mirror. I saw a girl full of color - as much color as I could possibly have - and eyes radiating with life. Did Edward really have this effect on me? I touched my face to make sure it was really my reflection looking back at me; it was.

Suddenly, I felt a tinge of guilt. I felt as if I were betraying Jacob and his love for me. All he wanted was my well being but here I was, fraternizing with the "enemy" and even going so far as to inviting him to sleep in the bed with me. Something was _wrong _with me! _Yet it felt so right._ I couldn't explain my own emotions. Jacob made me happy but inside, it was like Edward made me happier. I had to push thoughts of Edward out of my head. Yesterday night, I had my fun but now, I had to set the record straight. He hurt me and Jacob didn't want him around. I would put my foot down!

Or so I told myself.

I had everything all figured out in my head but once I stepped back into the room where _he_ sat, waiting for me, and looked into his eyes, my mind went blank. He was smiling his gorgeous crooked smile, arms outstretched for me. It was an offer I couldn't refuse, even with my mind's nagging guilt. My heart gurgled in satisfaction and the internal wound hadn't acted up at all since last night. What was I going to do with myself? I sighed involuntarily as I sat within the protection of his strong arms.

"What's wrong?" I hesitated, wondering whether or not I should tell him what I was feeling. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, pleading me to tell him what I was thinking.

"Well.. I just feel a tad guilty. I mean Jacob told me to stay away from you so in reality, since he is my boyfriend, I _should_ stay away from you."

"I should leave then?"

"_Should_. But I don't mind breaking the rules every now and then."

"Are you sure? I don't want him getting angry at you because of me."

"But I don't want you to leave." I said, a little too quickly to be good.

His laugh sounded like angels singing harmoniously. "I don't want to leave either."

I smiled. But happiness could only last so long. Jacob would be coming over soon and he would probably recognize Edward's tantalizing scent. I was going to be fed to the sharks once Edward was gone. Or rather fed to a werewolf, which I'm guessing might be much worse but I wouldn't know. "Jacob's coming over soon." I stated, hoping he would catch the hint.

And he did. "And that's my cue to leave." I pouted slightly. Honestly, I didn't want him to leave and I felt like a big baby for acting the way I did but it made him laugh, which was an added bonus. "I'll come back but only if you want me to."

"Would you really?" My eyes lit up, excited for the next time I would see him.

"Of course." His fingers brushed my cheek. "But now, I must go." And he left through the window.

* * *

Jacob came over and immediately noticed the scent. No surprise there.

"He was in your room again, wasn't he?" I was quiet. I didn't know _what_ to tell him. I was afraid he would blow up at me. For the first time, I was actually scared of him. "_Wasn't he?_" He stressed. I nodded slowly. He exhaled, frustrated. "Why didn't you call me and tell me?" The truth? I didn't want him to know. The lie.

"I was half-awake when he was here. I couldn't think straight." Well, a half-lie.

He convulsed slightly. I shrunk away, waiting for the explosion that was about to hit me. It never came. He let out an angry sigh before speaking again. "You need to tell me next time so I can tell him to get lost." His facial expression softened. "You have to realize that it worries me when I'm not around you. I'm afraid he'll bite you when I'm not here." He thought for a second, then continued, "Maybe I should stay with you. Or you could stay with me." I wanted to shout, protest even, but that would seem immature. I was _not_ a little girl. I could handle myself.

"You'd get sick of me." I stated calmly.

He raised an eyebrow. "How could you possibly think that?"

"At first, it'll be all fine and dandy but then, I'll start to complain and become a nuisance and you'll transform into a werewolf and rid yourself of the little nagging girl. Actually, you'll be doing the whole world a favor."

He chortled. "Bella, you're absolutely over-the-top. I'm not going to get sick of you. You're much too loveable for that." Blushing slightly, I felt the tinge of guilt come back. My mind kept nagging _He's only trying to do what's best for you._ My heart had inappropriate things to say to my mind. Too many forces at work in my body at this point. Both forces were too stubborn for their own good. "Bella, are you okay?" I realized I had zoned out.

"I'm fine. Sorry. I'm kind of out of it today. I'll be okay though." I smiled.

"Okay good." He grinned.

"So what've you got planned up your sleeve today?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Technically, I don't have sleeves to pull any plans out of." That's right. He never wore a shirt.

"Well then. I guess that means we won't be doing anything today." I said, playing along with his charades.

He grinned. "Let's just get some breakfast first."

"Sure thing."

* * *

After breakfast, I managed to trip over my own feet and dropped the plates I was carrying to the sink, causing them to shatter into a million pieces.

"Ugh! Why me?" I sighed, exasperated by my own clumsiness. Jacob just laughed at me. "Oh thanks so much for laughing at me." I huffed and started picking up the broken pieces.

"I'm not laughing at you, hon. I'm only laughing because your clumsiness is endearing." I rolled my eyes but smiled at him anyway. It was like I couldn't stay mad at him for more than a split second.

He started helping me pick up the pieces. Just like he had when I had fallen apart. Now I really couldn't help but feel bad about yesterday night. And yet, a part of me still wanted to see _him_. To feel the way I felt when I was with him. To breathe in his wondrous scent. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked worriedly. "You said you'd be okay but I beg to differ."

"I'm really sorry Jacob. I'm just feeling a little light headed." He tensed. Whoops! I had said the wrong thing again. When was I _ever_ going to get anything right?!

"It's because of that bloodsucker, isn't it? I'm going to have to hunt him down." He said, more to himself than to me.

"No, no! Don't do that. I don't want you to get hurt." _I don't want Edward getting hurt either_ I added mentally.

"I won't get hurt, Bells. Besides, I'm a werewolf. You know I can fend for myself."

"But still, Jake. If you leave and get hurt, who's going to watch over me?"

He pulled me into a warm embrace. "Bella, Bella." He said in a soothing voice. "I would never leave you if I knew it was too dangerous. I won't leave you like that leech did."

"Please don't call him that." I interjected but added quickly for Jacob's sake, "I don't enjoy hearing the words leeches and or bloodsuckers after eating."

He chuckled. "Fine. I won't leave you like _he_ did. I want to make you happy, Bella."

"And I'm grateful for it, Jake. I really am." I wrapped my arms around his waist, rather as much as I could since his torso was so well-built. "Still, you're not going out and hurting yourself."

He rolled his eyes. "Bells. I _won't_ hurt myself. And I won't hurt you."

I sighed. "I don't know about the first part. But the second part I am definitely sure of." I smiled. "You would never do anything to hurt me. You're honestly a good person."

I couldn't help but notice that he had a sad smile on his face but one look at my worried expression and he locked the sadness away. Deep down in my heart, I knew I was making him sad too; even if he didn't know it. In my mind, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to swear that I would never make him sad again. But in my heart, I knew. Knew that I would want to see Edward again; knew that I would be selfish and allow him to see me again. Why couldn't I just love Jacob whole-heartedly and let Edward go as well? I was hurting everyone, including myself and it wasn't something I enjoyed doing at all.

"Bella." Jacob called my name. I looked into his warm, loving eyes.

"Yes Jake?"

"I'm sorry that I didn't have anything planned for today but I just remembered I need to go somewhere today." He was leaving me now?

"You're leaving me." I was feeling very confused, alone, and in need of .. of.. something! I didn't know but still, he was leaving me. How utterly selfish I was feeling today.

"No! Please don't take it like that. I'm leaving temporarily but I'll be right back. I promise."

Sighing, I nuzzled my head into his chest. "You better come back or I'll kick you again." I mumbled teasingly.

"Oh, I wouldn't want _that_." I could tell he rolled his eyes. Loosening his grip on me, he let me go slightly. He bent down and brought our lips together. _Still no spark_. "I'll be back." He whispered against my lips.

"Mm. Be safe." I whispered back.

He briskly hugged me again before going out the door. Again, I began picking up the pieces of the broken plate. What I _really_ needed was to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

* * *

The cool breeze outside felt really good after enduring the intense heat of my werewolf boyfriend. I didn't understand why I couldn't just love him when he loved me so damn much. I was lost, confused, sad, scared, and alone. The wound that had temporarily healed started opening up again. An immense amount of pain released when the stitches of my heart started to come undone. I held myself together to keep composure. Why now? Why was it that Edward made me feel so much elation that my internal wound meant nothing? And why was it that with Jacob, there was no spark of electricity when our lips met? Why couldn't I just remember my past so that everything wouldn't be so cloudy.

I suddenly had a thought that my jump, Edward, and Jacob all had some sort of relation. I felt as though Jacob and Charlie hadn't told me everything that I wanted to know. Probably for my own protection. What a bad idea that had turned out to be. I vowed to figure out this puzzle. One way or another, I would find out the missing links in my life and I would find out the truth about me. I needed to feel like I knew myself again; I was always up for a good puzzle. Even if I was the puzzle myself.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize someone had crept near me.

"Hello again." I stiffened at the unknown familiarity of the voice. Why it was familiar was beyond me.

I slowly turned my head to see the face of the speaker. Why was it that the moment I actually might have needed protection

_No one was there to save me?_


	8. Unclear

**Disclaimer:**I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: I know, I know. Another two weeks. I'm so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry. I get the feeling that it's going to be like that for a while. I wish I could just have more time during the day so I could get the chapters out faster. Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter. I really appreciate it and am really sorry that you had to wait so long! So to any of the readers who have been patiently awaiting Chapter 8, here it is. Happy reading! (:

**Unclear**

'_Cause I'm here, ready to take it all here_

_Everything's feeling unclear_

_I wish it was raining_

'_Cause I hate every beautiful day_.

Hate Every Beautiful Day - Sugarcult

"Who are you?"

Her laugh tinkled in the wind. "Alice silly! Don't tell me you can't remember."

"Oh. Yeah. Of course I remember." I didn't. And my clueless face gave me away.

"You don't remember." She looked hurt. I felt awful for not remembering but I honestly _could not remember_. _Damn it Jacob_. Why couldn't you tell me everything?

"I'm sorry, Alice. But if it makes you feel any better, in all actuality, I can't remember anything. I'm pretty much like a sponge, just soaking in information as I go." I just realized I sucked at trying to make people feel better. Joy.

But she laughed anyway. She had a charming disposition about her. And she was absolutely gorgeous. Was she a vampire too? I didn't want to ask. I might seem like a crazy person.

Okay, more of a crazy person than I would want to let on.

"Oh Bella, Bella." And as quick as her joy came, her hysterics bursted. "_HOW COULD YOU JUMP OFF THAT CLIFF!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? WHY WOULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE AND STUPID AS TO JUMP OF A CLIFF!?_" All the while, she was shaking me back and forth, my neck feeling like it was about to snap off.

"I" Back. "don't" And forth. "remember!" Back. "ALICE!" And forth. "PLEASE STOP!" And stop.

She sighed and calmed down. She seemed to overreact more than I did - and I overreacted a lot. "You know, lately your future has been cloudy. I don't know why and it scares me. What's going on, Bella?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy.."

"As if you're not already?" I narrowed my eyes. "Oh but please, continue." She smiled and I couldn't help but give a small smile back.

"Anyway, when I jumped off the cliff, I lost a lot of my memories. I couldn't remember who Jacob was, where I was, even who I was. All I knew was that Jacob rescued me. He and Charlie told me everything. At least everything they wanted me to know. Then one night, this one guy, Edward, came to my room."

"Oh good. Edward made it safely."

"You know him?" I looked at her incredulously.

"Bella. He's my 'brother'."

"Oh. So does that mean you're a .."

"A what?"

"A vampire too?"

"Of course."

"Oh right. Okay. That's a relief. I don't have to hide that secret." I felt like an invisible weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was pretty sure being an unnatural being would mean those who knew couldn't tell others about it. But since she was one of them, it didn't matter.

"Please, continue with the story."

"Alright. So after Edward visited, Jacob became extremely angry with me. He was spouting of a bunch of crap about bloodsuckers and at that time, I didn't know he was talking about vampires until later that day, he told me about Edward's being a vampire and his being a werewolf."

"_Werewolf_ Bella? Really. It's so like you to go for the next dangerous thing." She shook her head. "Typical Bella. That must explain why I can't see your future."

"You can see my future?"

"Yes. Up to an extent."

"Ah. I see."

"So does the story end there?"

"Basically. All Jacob told me was that he didn't want Edward around because he left me and hurt me and that he wanted my blood." Her eyes were a dark golden tone. "Did I say something wrong?" How I knew she was in a bad mood was beyond me. Possibly, I was gaining back some random fact that I knew. Then, realization hit me.

_I was remembering something_. Something - of which I didn't know of what just yet - triggered my memory. It was a small memory but it was still something that I hadn't known before. Now more than ever, I knew it was possible to bring back memories. I could resurface things Jacob and Charlie never told me. The amount of elation I felt was enormous. My heart seemed especially happy at the thought of my remembering.

"Bella!" I shook my head and came back to reality. "Goodness. I seriously thought you were asleep."

"Oh, no. I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking. And I realized I could bring back my memories on my own. I wouldn't have to use Jacob as a crutch - metaphorically speaking of course - any longer. Sometimes, I feel like he's holding back; like there's something he isn't telling me. So now, there's a possibility that I can remember now. It's absolutely exciting!"

"That is something to be excited about." Suddenly, she had a glint of evil intent in her eyes. "You know what _that _means.."

I frowned. "No, I don't. And by the look on your face, I can tell I won't like it."

"Aww. Come on Bella. I wouldn't hurt you." She quietly added, "Intentionally." I heard anyway.

"Well, whatever it is you have planned, I'm not going for it."

"But we haven't seen each other in _so long_! We need some bonding time!" She smiled. I was awestruck by it. Her teeth were so straight and white and beautiful. What the heck was she doing hanging out with me?

* * *

Three hours. _THREE HOURS OF TORTURE _I had spent shopping with Alice. I don't know how she did it! I know for a fact I kept refusing to go with her but I some how ended up at the mall with her. That girl can manipulate her way into anything. Now we were on the way back to her house.

"Bellaaaa." Even her whine sounded musical. "Don't hate me. You had a pleasant time right?"

I sighed. "As pleasant as shopping could ever get. Which is not pleasant at all."

"That's mean."

"No, no! That's a good thing."

"How is 'not pleasant at all' a good thing?"

"The worst I could say is that it was a trip to hell."

"Ha, ha. Very funny Bella. Just because I'm, as Edward puts it, 'eternally damned'. Gee you sure are sensitive."

"Ugh! Alice. You're overreacting again."

"I am not. But you _could_ do something to make me feel better."

I was honestly scared she was going to make me do something I was going to regret. Reluctantly, I asked, "What can I do for you?"

"Let me dress you tomorrow."

"No way!"

"You won't even be doing anything though! I'll be doing all the work and you just have to sit there and relax. _Please_?"

"No. I'm not doing that."

She huffed and looked back at the road. Did I mention she wasn't even looking at the road while she was driving?

Minutes passed in silence and we both didn't say anything to each other. The silence allowed my mind to wander off and start thinking about different things.

For one, I thought of Edward. I missed him, way too much for my own good. My heart ached when I was away from him. All I wanted to do now was jump into his arms and be with him forever. Was that so wrong?

To Jacob it was. At this point, I knew Jacob didn't tell me everything. He edited for my sake. I didn't like how he treated me like a fragile child. I was not a child. I was eighteen! A grown woman. I didn't need someone censoring the information to my own life.

The more and more I thought about everything that had passed, the more I started to feel anger at Jacob. But it instantly vanished. He loved me. I could never hate him knowing that he loved me so much! And I was hurting him. I know I was. Just by being with these people, I was stabbing him in the back.

I realized it wasn't Jacob I was mad at; in all actuality, I was mad at myself. For being unable to love him back in the way he loved me. For wanting to be with Edward. For fraternizing with his enemy. For being angry at a man who loved me. For not feeling any spark when he touched me or kissed me. And the most important fact, for being myself. I was a weapon of mass destruction to these people. I caused everyone around me so much pain just by being me. I was inadequate to these unnatural people I associated with. I was not entitled to their love and affection at all.

The reason of my existence was unclear. Complications always arose and I would be the one that caused them. Who in the world would need that? Who in the world would really need another complication? Who in the world would possibly need me? No one I could think of. I wanted to rid this world of my chaos. I wish I had died when I jumped off that cliff.

"Bella." Alice's voice brought me out of my self-loathing box. "You're not thinking about doing anything rash, are you?"

"Of course not. Why would you think that?"

She hesitated, then replied, "No reason really. Just wondering."

I was too exhausted to argue back with her so I just continued looking out the window.

She sighed. "I knew our departure was a bad idea."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll explain it to you later. Right now, I think you need your rest."

Sighing, I nodded my head. I was truly tired.

My mind was drifting when her cell phone vibrated.

"Hello Edward." She was talking to Edward! I desperately wanted to talk to him. But I felt like talking to him would make things worse. So I just stayed put. "Yes she's with me. Don't do anything stupid. I'll see you back home. Bye."

* * *

I slept for the rest of the drive home. When we finally arrived to her house, she shook me slightly. "We're home."

"Mm." I didn't want to move just yet. My limbs were still sore from shopping. Shopping with her was like a sport. And I was horrible at all sports. Not to mention the fact that I tripped over things in the stores more than ten times; a new record I would call it if it weren't such a humiliating experience.

She, on the other hand, was graceful _and_ she was still up and energized. She first took the bags and bags of clothes, accessories, make-up, etc. into the house.

Then, I felt like I was being lifted as if I were on a cloud. "Alice, don't strain yourself trying to carry me."

His chuckle made my eyes flash open. Edward. "I'm not Alice." I realized that _now._ _Thanks for pointing out the obvious_. "And you're not heavy at all."

I blushed. Had I realized Edward was going to be here, I would have done something to at least make myself look decent. Right now, I wanted dig myself into a burrow and hide.

"You look fine, Bella. Rather, you look beautiful."

I blushed another shade. Beautiful? Yeah, right. I'm as beautiful as a donkey. "Stop it. You know that's not true."

"It is. You just don't see yourself clearly." He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I can't see clearly? _He_ needs his vision checked. Not me. I can see myself perfectly fine and _I_ don't like what I see. Why would he?

It was then I realized that he looked tired. The purple under his eyes looked darker than usual. _Not tired. Hungry_ something inside told me.

It was the second time today that I remembered something subconsciously.

And now more than ever, I was aware. Aware that a part of him would always be hungry.

_Hungry for my blood_.


	9. Ephemeral

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: Yeah. I know. A long, long, long, long, _longlonglong_ time since the last update. Honestly, there isn't much I can say other than the fact that I've just been busy with school and I just had one of my final exams, due to senior graduation. (Darn those senior classes!) But the end of the year is almost here! Three more weeks. :) Then, I'll be able to at least get an update out faster than two, three, almost four weeks. Somewhere around there, I lost count.

To Mrs Ulliel-Whitlock, I'm sorry that it took me so long! It is a BellaxEdward story, don't you worry. :) And I apologize for the fillers. I know how annoying those can get.

Anyway, onward with the story!

**Ephemeral**

"_Éphémère: ça signifie 'qui est menacé de disparation prochaine.'"_

(Ephemeral: that signifies 'which is in danger of soon disappearing.')

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The heavenly scent was light in the air. I knew just by instinct that she wasn't there. And yet, I knew she was safe. Alice was bound to be running around somewhere; I had a hunch that Bella was with her.

Now that I was back, I felt how attuned I was to her; she was connected to my soul. Though I could never be sure how she felt about me, from the last time I saw her, I had a strong feeling that she still felt something for me; like a part of her still yearned to be with me.

But of course, I could never be too sure. It could have just been a trick of the mind. I truly hoped not.

On the subject of the werewolf, I couldn't thank him enough for keeping her safe. But I didn't know exactly what to believe about him. Any area that dealt with the vampires, he skimped on. Exactly _what_ he told her was beyond me.

Still he had her.

She wanted to see me but he had her heart. Jealousy is such a base feeling. But I couldn't stop myself from feeling it anyway.

I exhaled deeply, leaned against the wall of her house. I would return home soon. My emotions, although almost always under control, were strong today and if I didn't return home soon, I would end up doing something I would regret.

"What are you doing here?" I knew exactly who the rough voice belonged to.

"About to leave."

"You should, leech. You don't belong in her life."

"Pardon my questioning, but you think you do? If it's a question of her safety, I'm sure neither of us belongs in her life." He was silent. I had proven him wrong; deep inside of me, a beast swelled. But I knew I had done wrong too. She cared for this mongrel; I couldn't hurt him and expect her to still want my presence. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me. In all actuality, I should be thanking you."

He snorted. "_Thanking_ me? Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Of course not. I cannot put into words how grateful I am for keeping her safe and making her life whole again after I left."

"It would have had a better effect if you hadn't suddenly decided to come back, you know."

I sighed. I knew he was right but I couldn't control myself. I could control many conflicts within myself but when it came to my love for Bella, it was complicated and took much more energy and thought than other matters. I knew what was good for her. And I knew what I wanted. I always tried to do what was best for her safety but I still couldn't help fulfilling my dreams too. I was a selfish creature; one who couldn't stand not getting what he wanted; but the two things I wanted were so polar, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to love her and be her everything, fulfilling her dreams too in every way possible. I also wanted to keep her safe and out of harms way, even if that meant excluding me and all other dangerous beings out of her life.

But no. I wanted her; wanted her so bad that I was willing to put her in danger. I was an idiot (as if that wasn't the understatement of all my selfish actions).

"I suppose you're right." I said finally.

"Damn straight."

"Nonetheless, now that I'm here, it's no surprise that I want to be near her."

"Yeah, well what if she doesn't want to be near you?"

I didn't know what to say to that. She had said she wanted me to be around. But what if she didn't? What if she was only giving me pity love because I looked so miserable?

"Then I'll abide by her wishes and leave her alone."

"Good. Glad you see it my way."

I glared at him. _What a selfish dog_. "It's not all about you."

"I never said it was." He balled his fist. "It's all about Bella."

"Yes, well, if it was all about Bella, why don't you tell her the truth?" That made him angry. A part of me was glad; I wanted to punch him. I really did. But most of me felt that this was going the wrong way and that if I did something to harm this immature mutt, _she_ would be terribly upset. After all, I _did_ leave her and _he_ picked up the pieces.

"I _did _tell her the truth!"

"A half-truth is a whole lie."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, blood sucker." I appeared oddly calm for all the anger radiating within my cold body. "The only thing I didn't tell her about was _YOU_ and your _stupid blood sucking family_."

"Why do you have the shallow need to bring my family into this? What in the world did they _ever_ do to you?"

"They just existed. Vampires are not supposed to exist. And before you say that werewolves aren't supposed to exist either, I know that. But at least I can choose not to change into that form and I could do with her what you can't."

Vile images popped into my brain, causing me to shudder. I shook my head to throw away what I did not want to see.

"I _know _that already. You think I don't want to be with her completely and give her what she deserves? I did not choose this life, mongrel. If it were possible, I would become human so _she_ wouldn't have to suffer the same damned fate that I must deal with for the entirety of my life."

"Well, if you don't want her to change into one of you, let her stay happy without you!"

"Why do you think I left? It was for just that sole purpose. To let her forget I ever existed. You can see how well _that_ plan turned out."

"It would have been fine if you hadn't come back."

"It might have, it might have not. But, as I told you, I'm already back. It's impossible to go back and reverse that action." The anger settled just beneath the surface. If he were to say something to provoke me... no. I didn't want to think of what I would do. I clenched my fists tightly, hoping I could hold myself back. After I calmed myself down enough to talk without clenching my teeth, I said, "You should tell her."

"What do I have to tell her?"

"The truth. The whole truth. About what happened. About how I left her. About how you picked up the pieces. About everything."

"I did tell her everything she needs to know."

"Then why does she feel like she's been left out. She's confused about many things, Jacob. She doesn't need the extra confusion. And knowing her, she'll want to find out."

"She won't need to find out."

"But she'll want to. Sometimes, you want what you don't need." He was silent, so I continued. "You wouldn't want her finding out from someone else about everything, right? If you want her to know the truth, you tell her yourself."

Nothing was said for a while. Then, he started again. "If I told her the truth, she'd hate me."

"You know she wouldn't." I knew she wouldn't. She was much too forgiving. I experienced that first hand...

"But she would never trust me again."

"You've only got to tell her about the vampires. What more is there to it?"

"I-" He stopped. "That's none of your business, leech." He mumbled. It must have been something vital if he didn't say exactly what it was.

"It's your call. Whatever you decide to do affects every time her heart beats. Hers are limited. As much as I hate to say it, that's exactly how the situation is. Whether or not you listen to me, that's up to you. But you think about it yourself. Would you really want her to spend the rest of her life wondering about everything and searching for answers?"

He slowly added his input. "What if.. her decision involved having you out of her life?"

"I would be miserable. But I would never let her see it. I couldn't do that to her. She's too loving and she would try to comfort someone who could never be comforted."

He looked down and grumbled. "This is absolutely ridiculous." Then, looking up again, he asked, "Where is she right now?"

"Assuming she's with Alice, I'd guess she's safe." Before he could interject, I added, "As safe as she could be with a kind vampire like Alice."

"She will be back here tomorrow." It wasn't a question at all.

"Of course. I'll even escort her here myself." He frowned. "In the meantime, you think about you want to do."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm only suggesting..."

"Yeah, well whatever you're doing, I don't care. As long as she's safe back here where she belongs."

I noticed clearly now that he loved her too. He might have been impulsive and immature but still, he wanted her to be safe. The same goal that I had for her. He wanted to protect her and know that she was some place where she wouldn't get in harm's way (since her clumsy nature and danger magnet ways often led her into dangerous situation). He would have been a good person for her had I not loved her eternally also. But if she so pleased, I would not be the obstacle between her love if she chose him. So it was never a matter of whether who loved her more. It was a matter of who she wanted to be with. Because both of us could not exist together in her life as we were at this moment and have her being the happiest she could possibly be.

I only heard a grunt before I saw him turn to leave. "Don't forget." He stated simply before running off in the direction of his home.

It was time I returned too. First, I had to call Alice, to be sure that Bella was with her.

It only took one ring to get through to her. "Alice. Is Bella with you?" I exhaled in relief. "Good. I just had a discussion with her werewolf friend. Of course not. I'll be home as soon as I clear my thoughts."

Running at a slower pace helped erase any trace of anger within me. Bella often had this sixth sense that could feel like she was reading my mind. Still, even erasing that couldn't take away the thirst I felt from wanting to rip apart something to shreds. No matter how gentle I was with her, I was still a violent creature.

I was elated that I would be able to see her again. It might be one of the last times; I could never know and never assume. It was times like these, I wish I could know what she was thinking. But she liked it better that I didn't; and I wanted her to be happy so I would never probe her for answers.

Though the darkness didn't frighten me, I quickened my pace. My mind wouldn't rest until I could see her beautiful face once more.

* * *

Parked in the garage, the car was idle. Alice got out of the car and took out all of her shopping bags. Poor Bella. I knew how much she disliked shopping. But she was too nice to say no to Alice. Alice looked over at me and nodded her head towards the car. _She_ was in there. It would only be a couple steps until..

I sighed and smiled. She was so beautiful, even when she slept. If she ever were to be bitten and changed, she would never get to experience the joys of sleeping ever again and I would never get to see this specific moment again.

I picked her up out of the car seat. She mumbled, "Alice, don't strain yourself trying to carry me."

I chuckled. "I'm not Alice." Her eyes shot open. She looked slightly embarrassed, a nice pink blush surfacing on her cheeks. It was truly a lovely color on her. But she had nothing to be embarrassed about. She was always lovely. "You look fine, Bella. Rather, you look beautiful."

"Stop it. You know that's not true." Of course it's true, silly.

"It is. You just don't see yourself clearly." I smiled. "Now please, rest. No need to strain yourself staying awake."

"Fine, fine." She mumbled sleepily. "You'll be there when I wake up tomorrow right?"

"If you want me to be." She only nodded her head before she went back to sleep.

* * *

Her heart beat softly and slowly in a rhythmic melody; her blood serenaded me gently, calling to me. I could only appreciate the song without actually acting upon it.

Each heartbeat reminded me of her ability to disappear from my grasp at any moment without notice. She was so delicate, almost like a flower fighting against the world.

There were many in this world who would fight to protect her. But two of the least supsecting candidates specifically designed thier lives to save her from danger.

If she chose to be with _him_, then I would gracefully get out of the way. No complaints, no arguments. Of course I would want her to choose me but that choice was up to her.

Either choice she chose though, there was still the possibility of danger.

So far, everything had been peaceful. For the most part. But someday, I didn't know exactly when, something bad would happen. I could feel it rising in the horizon.

Human life was limited. And by the sound of her heartbeat, Bella was obviously still human. She was always in danger because of her magnetic nature.

And no matter who she chose,

_I would always be there to protect her_.


	10. Confession

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: Yes, I know. I think it was about 3 weeks to a month this time? I'm _really, really, really_ eternally sorry! At least now it's summer. Hopefully, chapters will come out faster. Unless I start getting lazy. Then I need to kick myself in the butt to get to it. Thank you to those who still read my story. :) I'm really grateful. Seriously. Anyway, I digress. Here's the next chapter.

**Confession**

_Would she hear me if I called her name?_

_Would she hold me if she knew my shame?_

Tears Don't Fall - Bullet For My Valentine

He was right.

Why the hell did he have to be right?

I sighed to myself, sitting diligently in front of Bella's home. Charlie had already gone to work so now, I was just waiting for Bella's return. I knew I had to tell her the truth; if I didn't, she'd probably start searching herself. She always did have a knack for trying to find things out. Especially if it was something she was really determined to know.

There were two major outcomes that could result from my telling her the truth. She could either:

A, just accept it and love me anyway for trying to make her life better.

Or B, she could hate me and not talk to me for as long as she wished.

I wasn't sure whether or not there was a happy medium between those. I'm sure, in time, she would forgive me. But our relationship would never be the same. Even as friends, she would still find some distrust for me. And I desperately wished that she would go along with the first outcome. That was highly doubtful. I was wrong to lie to her; completely wrong and I went with it anyway because of my own selfish reasons. I know I wanted the best for her; I really did. But I still knew deep down, her being my lover would satisfy me more than it would satisfy her.

"Hey Jacob." I snapped out of my thoughts and saw her beautiful face. She seriously was the most beautiful person in the universe. That leech was lucky to win her heart over.

"Hey Bells." I looked over to _him_ and just nodded a thanks to him. It might have seemed immature and rude but I still couldn't get the hang of his presence.

He, however, was always polite. "I'll leave you two alone now. Please keep her safe." _Like I wouldn't. _Damn leech. With that, he turned around and left. I looked towards Bella. She looked sad. I could tell she missed him already. His effect on her was just _that _strong.

"I really have to talk to you, Bella. Could we talk now?"

"Sure, Jake." We went into her house and sat in the living room. The place I had committed my ultimate crime. We sat in silence for a while. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. It was difficult to word. I couldn't just say _'Oh yeah. About your life. I lied about basically your entire existence. You love him, not me.'_ "Are you okay? You seem depressed."

"I'm fine. I just.. have to tell you something important. But I don't know how to word it." I, the werewolf, was afraid to confront my fears and tell the girl I loved the truth. I wasn't afraid to fight and kill a vampire but was terrified of talking to a girl.

"You can take your time. No one's rushing you, you know." My conscience is rushing me.

"Thanks." I was glad she was trying to comfort me. It might be one of the last times she would be nice to me. I took a deep breath before starting. It was now or never. "I lied."

She stared at me, unblinking. Finally, she blinked and responded. "Excuse me?"

"I lied. About Edward and him hurting you. I mean he really did hurt you but not in the wanting to bite you way. He left you to keep you safe because he didn't want you to put yourself in danger."

"Put myself in danger of what?" She interrupted.

"In danger of.." I paused. This was the moment of truth. ".. of loving a vampire."

To no surprise for me, she was definitely shocked. "But I thought you and I.."

"I know. I lied about that too."

The look on her face killed me. She was hurt by my actions. "Why? Why would you lie about such a thing?" It seemed like she already knew that I lied; it was like she was waiting for me to tell her. I was being non-responsive. I just couldn't look her in the eyes. "Why would you keep me away from him?"

"I just.. just wanted to protect you from him. I thought he was dangerous, Bells."

Her demeanor turned stern. "Dangerous? Jacob. _You're_ dangerous too. But you didn't lie about your being around me."

"Because I'm still human."

"I'm human too. And I'm a detriment to myself."

"That's not true."

"It definitely is. Do you realize how clumsy I am and how often I get myself into trouble?" I didn't answer. There was a sudden change in the atmosphere. She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" I was confused.

"Sorry for exploding. I'm being selfish."

"What are you talking about? I was being selfish."

"You had a reason to lie to me. You wanted to protect me from being hurt. I was only thinking of myself. I just really had a strong feeling of attraction towards Edward and so I wasn't thinking about how you would feel when I was angry." She was completely turning this around so that _she_ was the guilty one. Why was she doing this to herself?

"It's not your fault. It's mine, Bella. Please don't blame yourself."

"Seriously, Jake. It's okay. I'm sorry I hurt you." She sighed. "I think I'm going to my room now, if that's okay with you." It was ironic but I now wanted her to believe that it was my fault. That everything that happened was according to my lies. Her reaction didn't match at all. At first, she was mad. Then she blamed herself? It wasn't supposed to be like that.

"Before you go, though, I just want you to understand that this is not your fault. Okay?" I tried to joke with her, to make everything alright like it used to be. She only half-smiled and nodded, before getting up and heading to her room.

* * *

I had been sitting there for a while. A long while, till Charlie came back.

"Oh Jacob! I didn't know you were coming over. Are you here to see Bella?"

"She's in her room."

"Sleeping? Already?"

"I'm not sure. I've just been sitting here for the past few hours."

"Why? You could go see her."

"I don't think she wants to see me."

"What did you do?" He was more stern now.

"I told her I lied to her."

".. Oh. Lied about what?"

"About being my girlfriend."

"I see." Silence. "So she knows about Edward?"

I decided not to tell him that Edward was here. It would upset him even more because he was no longer fond of _his_ presence.

"Yeah. She does." More silence. "What should I do? She's blaming herself for everything when I really was at fault."

"Maybe you should just give her some time. Then, talk to her. She might not be ready to talk yet."

I sighed. "Yeah. I guess so." There was a small, awkward silence before I decided to go home. "I should be getting back now."

"Alright then. 'Night Jacob." I was about to leave when he suddenly called me. "Hey Jake."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for taking care of her. She'll talk to you eventually."

"I hope so," I muttered before exiting the house.

* * *

It had been two weeks and she still hadn't talked to me. In fact, she hardly talked to anyone. It was almost like the time when he left her and she was a shell of a person. But he was here and he was willing to talk to her. I even allowed it but every time I would bring that up to her, she would tell me that she didn't really _feel_ like talking to anyone at the moment. How long was this moment going to last? I couldn't even tell what was going on in her mind.

"Bella." It was now the first day of the third week and I was determined to have her talk to me.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind telling me what's on your mind? You haven't said much since I told you about everything."

"There's not much to say, Jacob."

"You don't even want to see Edward. That's what scares me."

"Aren't you glad I don't want to see him? I mean you wanted me to avoid him in the first place."

I was starting to get mad. She was turning the tables on me. "Well, I don't enjoy seeing you with him but if it's something you want to do, maybe you should do it." I couldn't believe I actually wanted her to go see him.

"I don't want to see him." She snapped back.

"Fine then. Don't see him. See if I care."

"Ugh!" She stomped off in the direction of the woods. When she was out of sight, I had to let out my frustration. I punched a nearby tree.

My mind was finally cleared of any anger and common sense was taking over. It was nearing night and it wasn't safe for her to be --

A cut-off scream could be heard coming from the direction Bella had gone into the forest. Panic rushed through my body as I changed into my wolf form and ran to her. If anything bad were to happen to her, it would be my fault and

_I would never forgive myself_.

* * *

A/N: Just to clear things up in case anyone is wondering, it _is_ BxE. It'll come to that part eventually. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	11. Broken

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: I am deeply, truly, and utterly sorry that I couldn't get this chapter out fast enough. I had most of it typed out but then I hit a wall and wasn't sure where I wanted to go from a certain point. I'm a bad updater. But I'm glad I finally got this done. My readers deserve to know what happens next. So the next time I have a long absence from updating, someone yell at me. Haha. Yeah. So here it is. It's not very long, unfortunately, but it is an update so I hope you like it.

**Broken**

_You're all alone_

_Running out of ways to_

_Hold on to hope_

_And it always slips away_

All Alone - Kutless

I sat with my back leaned against a tree to rest. I had tripped so many times that there were scrapes on my palms; luckily none of them were bleeding.

I really wasn't _mad_ at Jacob. I just needed time to think things over. I wanted to delve deeper into my mind to see if I could find the memories I needed there.

The main thing was I _really wanted to remember_. It was frustrating that I couldn't remember no matter how much time I spent trying to bring back anything. I'd catch glimpses here and there of small feelings. These feelings were powerful but I didn't know where they were coming from.

Jacob had suggested a visit from Edward. Not that I wasn't dying to see him, but I really didn't want anyone around to influence my thoughts. I trusted them both, even if Jacob had lied and Edward had left me. I couldn't find it in my heart to be completely mad at them.

It was unfortunate that Jacob caught me at a bad time, though. I was absolutely frustrated that I couldn't find anything. _A__gain_! So I snapped at him. I felt awful after I left but I needed to clear my thoughts. I was starting to get a headache; not only that, but I was feeling terribly alone. The wound in my heart, which hadn't acted up lately, started to ache again. I held myself, arms across my chest so the seams that were keeping me together wouldn't snap open.

Abruptly, I felt a chill. Like someone was watching me. I chided myself for going into the forest so late. It was a dangerous place to be when werewolves and vampires existed. I got up. It was time I went back.

As I walked, the aura of danger never left me.

Suddenly, I heard a snarl to my left. I swiftly turned to see gleaming red eyes. A vampire.

The vampire came out of hiding. Her hair looked like waves of fire tumbling from her head, with some branches and leaves being burned within it. My heart was pounding so fast, I felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.

She smiled a twisted grin. I tried to run for it. I didn't get far before I tripped over an overgrown root of a tree. I cursed to myself. I flipped my body over to see that she was hovering over me.

"Revenge is going to be sweet." Her voice oozed of sinister ideas. I had no idea what was going on; I had no idea what to do. So I did the only thing I could do. I screamed.

Or I tried to. But with a quick motion, the last thing I saw was her flame red hair and I was gone.

* * *

My body ached, my head ached, and everything felt cold.

I felt like my body had been torn apart. I twitched my arm and I was relieved to know that it was still attached.

I groggily opened my eyes to see that I was in a cave. Flaming red hair was nowhere to be seen. I sat up, as best I could. Pain shot everywhere. What did she do to me? My left arm felt broken. I didn't want to cause anymore damage to it so I didn't move it.

I wanted to cry, scream for help, do _something_. But then I realized something. If I called for help, then Jacob or Edward would come to my rescue and they'd end up getting hurt. That was something I couldn't bear.

It wouldn't matter if I died. I had snapped at Jacob; he probably thought I was ungrateful for everything he'd done for me. He was only trying to help. And Edward. I couldn't even remember much about him except for the elation I felt when I saw him. I know Jacob told me I loved him but how could anyone like him possibly love me? He only wanted to keep me safe by leaving. So he wouldn't care if I was dead, right?

Deep down, I would regret this decision to stay here. My heart ached at the thought that I would never see Edward's face again; his crooked smile, his beautiful bronze hair, the sculpted structure of his face. Most of all, I would regret never being able to see his loving golden eyes ever again.

A smaller part of me missed Jacob too. He was my friend. I loved him for being there for me; for doing everything he could to make me happy when Edward left.

"You're awake." Snapping out of my thoughts, I saw her. The vampire who would be the responsible for my death. It never escaped me that she bared her teeth while smiling. I knew she was going to torture me; torture me until I begged for mercy. If that mercy meant killing me, then so be it.

My heart raced from fear; I was terrified of this lady. I had no idea who she was and why she was doing this to me but it was too late. It was too late to formulate any plans; it was too late for escape; it was too late to see the ones I loved once more; it was just too late for me.

I felt my back thrash against the frozen wall. Pain shattered through my body like broken glass. Why was I so weak? If only I myself were a vampire. I might have a fighting chance.

Her sharp nail slit my cheek. "I wonder how it will feel for him." She hissed. "To lose his lover just as I lost mine."

What was she saying? "I haven't done anything to you." I gasped out; it hurt to speak.

She didn't have a witch's cackle, but her laugh was ominous. "Your love is to blame for this pain you feel." She slammed me against the wall once more. I let out a cry from the pain; my head throbbed madly and my heart beat was erratic. I couldn't feel the limbs on my body, as if they were cut off though I knew they were still attached. She spoke once more; her last threat to me before my mind started to fade. "You'll be unrecognizable once I'm done with you." Then came a snarl. _I love you, Edward_. My mind was speaking, my heart was crying out. It seemed so familiar. Like I had almost died before. Before I had the time to process any of this new found information,

_My mind went blank._

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for still reading if you're actually reading this. :)


	12. Demise

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Twilight_.

A/N: Alright, so I guess the word 'soon' is no where to be found in my vocabulary. I have to be one of the worst updaters ever. Haha. I think I'm exaggerating a bit there, but still. I'll stop saying 'soon' since I end up not updating until three or four weeks later. I'm so sorry! Sorry is definitely in my vocabulary. Anywho! Here it is for those of you who were waiting for it.

**Demise**

_Fallen now is_

_Babylon the great_

Beast and the Harlot - Avenged Sevenfold

I hadn't had any peace lately; she didn't want to talk to me and, although it shouldn't have, it caused my guilt to resurface. She was suffering and there wasn't much I could do; there wasn't much she would even let me do. And it all led back to the darkest days of my eternity. The hours that ticked by without being able to see her face, to see her smile, to have her loving me the way I never deserved. I would never forgive myself; I couldn't if I tried. I knew that it would always exist in me and in her and as long as she felt that pain, it would always be my fault. She would tell me otherwise if she remembered, but it was forgiveness that I couldn't fully accept.

"Edward!" Alice broke my thoughts. "Bella's in trouble! Victoria is back." My breath stuck in my throat. There was no time to waste; I had to protect her - my love, my universe, the sole reason for my existence.

"I'll take care of this." She only nodded, knowing it would be useless to argue with me. _I have faith in you, Edward. Good luck_. She tossed a lighter to me. I left immediately.

I knew I would do anything to save her.

* * *

I reached the forest in a matter of minutes, where Victoria's scent heavily tainted the air. I followed the scent until I ran into none other than Jacob.

_So you smell her too._ I heard in his mind.

"Yes. Alice saw her in a cave Bella's scent is getting stronger so we must be getting close." Even in his wolf form, I could still see him scrunch his face. "There's no time to argue over that now."

We hastily began our tracking once more and, as Alice had predicted, we found them in the cave.

She looked so crumpled and weak. I could feel her losing consciousness. I would not lose her again. Not to that cruel witch.

Jacob snarled and jumped towards Victoria. She threw Bella's body aside as she dodged the flying werewolf. A look of menace crossed her face; then satisfaction.

"Well, well. The prince in shining armor has arrived. Edward Cullen, the love of this woman's life." She mocked. "A life that will end very, _very_ soon." She smiled, exposing her teeth.

Jacob was about to attack again. "Go and take her out of here." It was a demand I hoped he would follow without any trouble.

_Why?_

"This is my battle to fight." A battle I intended to win. "Please. Just take care of her."

"Yes, run along, _dog_."

He growled furiously, his canine teeth ready to rip her to shreds. She only seemed amused.

"Listen to him. This isn't your war. She didn't choose _you_." That was harsh, especially for him. If I didn't interfere soon, he'd end up doing something irrational.

"Don't do anything stupid, Jacob. Just go. I can handle this." I looked calmly at the flaming vampire. "Let's just say we need some closure."

_You'd better kick her -_

"That's unnecessary. Now go."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Victoria launched herself towards Bella's body but I blocked her way. It left enough time for Jacob to take Bella and leave. She sighed. "Fine. Once I defeat you, I'll find her again. After all, her tantalizing scent isn't very difficult to find. Of course, you'd know that better than I."

I smirked. "Who said you would win? I'll never let you lay another finger on her ever again."

"Oh, I intend to lay more than just a finger on her. She'll be begging for death when I'm through with her."

I crouched down in my hunting position. Anger coursed through my body. She would regret those words. Like a mountain lion, I lurched towards her. She swiftly avoided me. Her flaming hair twisted and turned as she and I continued to fight. Though she was agile, she could never be a match for me. My rage and want to protect my Bella fueled me to go faster, to be one step ahead. Suddenly, she was trying to find a route of escape. As if I were really going to let her get away with what she had done.

"Leaving so soon?" She knew she could no longer handle this alone. However, it was too late for her. Before she could even make her move to leave the cave, I captured the vile creature and with a swift motion towards her neck, she was gone.

* * *

I watched as the flames devoured her body. She would never cause Bella grief again. Purple smoke huffed out of the fire and lingered in a slow, curling movement up towards the sky. The sight filled me with relief. Bella was safer now.

I didn't waste any time returning. My anxiety for her current physical condition was present in all my thoughts and nothing could keep me from at least checking on her.

Jacob had brought her to the hospital where Carlisle worked. She hadn't left this world. Her low breathing was a sure sign of it.

"How was the fight?" Jacob asked casually as he entered the room.

"Nothing special."

"Yeah, right. I wish I could have been there. I wanted to be the one tearing her head off."

"I know." I smirked. "I'm sure you would have done a good job of it too."

"But what she said was true."

"What exactly do you mean?" I questioned, puzzled to why he would say something so absurd. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, I knew what he was saying.

"She didn't choose me."

"That would have been true if it were before my departure. Now, I'm not quite sure. It's no longer set in stone." He waited for an explanation. "She doesn't remember much of what happened before she jumped. She could still choose you because you were there for her when I wasn't. I'm eternally thankful that you were there to keep her together. If you hadn't been there for her, I don't know what she would have done."

"What exactly would you plan to do if she doesn't choose you?"

"I'd abide by her decision."

"Just like that? You'd just cut all detachments that easily."

"Of course not. But if I were ever to show her that I was tormented, she would feel guilty and begin blaming herself."

"She's always blaming herself. I told her the truth about everything and she still found a way to blame herself for it."

I chuckled. That's my Bella. "She is as stubborn as a rock."

He joined in the laughing himself. "You're telling me."

Then, a brief moment of silence washed over the room. We both stared at her, both determined to win her heart.

It came out of nowhere, really, but I remembered her saying she didn't remember why she had jumped off the cliff in the first place. Maybe he would know since during that time, I had basically buried myself away from the world.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did she jump off the cliff?"

He looked unsure. "She didn't tell me. I had told her we could go cliff-diving sometime" I glared at him for even allowing her to participate in irrational activities but he ignored it "but I didn't think she'd do it on her own."

Interesting. If he didn't know and she didn't know, it would be impossible for me to solve the whole reason for her attempt at some sort of early demise. Then it occurred to me. She might have been trying to commit suicide. "What if… she was trying to kill herself?"

He was quiet before responding. "It kind of makes sense."

_Oh, Bella. Why would you do such a stupid thing? Don't you know I can't live without you?_ I wish I could just talk to her. But even so, I would never know if she didn't remember. If I hadn't left, this would have never happened. I was an idiot to believe that leaving was a good idea.

"But Bella doesn't seem like the suicidal type though." Jacob said, interrupting my thoughts.

"She doesn't. But I can't be sure. I never know what she's really thinking."

He grunted. "Join the club."

Rolling my eyes, I looked back at her seraphic face. If only she could see the vampire and the werewolf finally getting along. Sort of.

"Edward…" She mumbled. At first, I thought _I_ was dreaming; but of course, that wasn't possible. I had heard it clearly, like I had the first time I had heard her say my name. She had to be talking in her sleep again. Or so I thought…

_Until I saw her lovely, brown eyes._

* * *

A/N: Thank you, readers! Patience _must_ be a strong virtue in you! That or you're just too nice to yell at me. Either way, you people are amazing. :)


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